Sacred Ashes:After and Before
by DAOJust
Summary: When with a Female Mage and your confronted about Jowan in the Gauntlet don't ya just wish you could scream "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Well this is sorta it for the emotional people ONE-SHOT!, AlistairXF!Warden


Author Note: Hello, this is my take on the whole TRIAL thing with Sacred Ashes with the female Mage Origin...As usual I only own my warden.

The Guardian in front of her looked different, his voice echoing "Do you regret your choices regarding Jowan, perhaps if you told him that you-"

Kallian lashed out, poison and hatred swirling in her tone, "No! Don't you dare bring him up if only I had been stronger...wiser.." Kallian's voice trailed off and a cry tore itself out of her throat, as she blinked back tears, "If only...I had noticed...told him.."

she snarled turning away from the Guardian, Alistair blinked in surprise and reached for her arm, "Kali.." Kallian turned away and clenched her fist, the Guardian shrugged, "And what of you Alistair? Do you regret that you couldn't defend, shield Duncan from the blow?" Alistair snarled, "Of course I do...**there's** not a **day** that goes by that I don't wish things were different!"

The Guardian shrugged again, "Do you regret Zevran? Of the woman you couldn't sa-" Zevran narrowed his eyes, "...Yes I regret...But do not invoke that name..."

The Guardian stopped on Leliana, "Leliana...Do you regret trusting Mar-" Leliana interrupted "No...I trusted her...but she was the one who betrayed.."

The Guardian turned to Wynne, "Ah, the philosopher...for all your words of wisdom, Do you regret?" Wynne frowned heavily, "Yes I regret...so many things..."

The Guardian stood back and appraised the group, Kallian regained her temper and emotions now wearing a mask, Zevran appeared as indifferent, Alistair was trying to regain his focus, and Wynne was looking resigned, he made a decision "You may look for Andraste's Ashes but the Gauntlet will test you in four ways..." finally he disappeared...

Kallian had not stayed with the group instead excused herself to go look for wood, Alistair grew worried with each passing moment for wood was not that hard to find, and made an excuse to go find Kallian. She was staring a brook, her feet just barely touching the water as she sobbed. Alistair grew flustered and rubbed his face, he did **NOT** know how to deal with women...especially scary women who could easily freeze him or turn him into a frog..."_Get up your legendary sodding courage Alistair, its NOT that hard to talk to her._." he argued to himself, finally approaching Kallian.

"H-Hey Kali." Alistair stuttered out, "_Maker's breath! I sound like a scared little boy telling his mom he broke something!_" Kallian looked up, "H-Hey Alistair.." her eyes were red rimmed, and her skin pale from any blood circulating.

Alistair smiled weakly, "Thank the Maker, I thought you had gotten lost or something then I would have to lead, bad things happen, We get lost and I end up in some tavern with no pants!"

Kallian chuckled weakly, "I never did tell how I was conscripted did I?" she murmured, "Might as well tell everyone.." Kallian stood up, her elven voice too low for Alistair to hear her, "Sorry what?" Alistair asked curiously, Kallian looked at him, "I guess its time I told everyone the truth, cmon...before Zevran drinks all the wine... I'll need some before Lights out..."

Alistair took a small sip from the wine skin that Zevran passed around, on his left Kallian sat erect but joking as she saluted Sten, Oghren had already passed out from his ale, finally Leliana spoke up "So Kallian you were gonna tell us something?" the mood around the campfire shifted from a group of friends to a some sort of a speech, Zevran shot up, and proceeded to try to wake Oghren "Ugh...my friend, you need a breath mint or at least a better smelling ale." Zevran complained through a pinched nose, Kallian smirked "You should smell his morning breath.." at those words Zevran looked green, and discontinued from trying to wake Oghren. Kallian took a deep breath and without a great flourish did she began her tale.

"_As most of you know, I was a city elf, looked down on, and so forth, but my mother was a rogue...and a clever one, she tried to teach me in her footsteps but I was not ready to handle blades and lithe armor, and I never really enjoyed her training but one day I was too careless and had a small spark of lightening in my hand making it dance, the guards at the entrance of the alienage sputtered and ran off to the nearest templar who immediately grabbed my arm and hoisted me off the steps of my home, then stepped inside my mother's voice was stricken with panic and tried to fight him off from taking me, but he easily slew her and packing my meager belongings I was shipped off to the Tower at age 4..."_

Alistair blinked, "So powerful to control magic at such a young age..." he murmured, Zevran elbowed him "Shush, I want to hear more of the fabulous life of the Grey Warden."

Kallian continued, _"I was already looked down on for my tattoos, and being an elf in the tower is no different, I found no one to connect to, I was a freak...an unnatural thing..to them till I met Jowan, here was the poor small boy with dark dark brown hair, and the lightest blue eyes, nervous as hell and jumpy, he was snubbed already for not being as talented as the others, and here was the little elf trying to make friends and we connected, joined at the hip, partners-in-crime, sometimes we'd steal Irving's cookies and hide in our secret place, eating them.." Her voice was wistful, recalling the sweet visions "Jowan was never good at magic, I tutored him into the late night, and stay up, we'd make plans to escape the tower, go join the witches of the Wild"_

Morrigan snorted, "You would have stayed with Flemeth and I?" Kallian looked at her, "I never said the plans were good..." SHUSH was heard around the campsite, "Alright! I'm going on..." Kallian bit her lip.

"_Then things changed.. He was secretive and quiet...We shared a bunk and he would get up in the middle of the night, I remember he shushed and lulled back to sleep, that night I was stolen up to the Harrowing chambers, still asleep...I remember someone saying that Jowan had fought tooth and nail to keep me from being taken...he thought I was being killed...I went through my Harrowing..."_

Alistair raised an eyebrow, "Wait we're not going to hear about it?" Kallian shook her head, "No, I'm not able to tell the Harrowing to all those who have not taken it Chantry Boy."

_The next morning I woke in my bed, dressed in my circle mage robes, and staff at the foot of my bed, and ring on my finger, I thought to myself "HOLY SODDING MAKER DID I GET MARRIED LAST NIGHT?" Jowan had kept watch over me when I had been returned to my bed, and told me I needed to see Irving but that he and I would talk later, warning bells went off in my head but I dismissed them, after all I was sure Jowan just wanted to talk alone about the Harrowing. I saw Irving and Duncan, who I was fascinated with, the legend..._

_"But I had only been a circle mage for 2 hours...that's when Jowan confronted me, said he needed to tell me something, I followed him into the Chantry, Lily was there, the girl he loved or thought he did, he told me that they planned to escape, I wrote it off as one of our escape schemes but he was serious, I told him I promise, but I had to break it...I went to Irving, crying I didn't want it to be true, but it was, I told him the plan and he set up an ambush, you see the plan was to break his 'leash' and flee the tower to where the Templars couldn't get him with Lily..." _

Alistair quirked an blond eyebrow "Sorry what 'leash'?" "When mages first arrive at the Tower, a vial that is pretty big is fill with your blood..its the way they hunted mages.." she looked around everyone had WHAT-THE-SODDING-HELL on they're faces, Leliana wrinkled her nose, "That's sick.." Zevran looked slightly less green than before, "Well...the Crows aren't that brutal to cut their members...at age what?" Kallian rubbed her forehead, "Usually 3 to 4 years of age." Zevran whistled, "Can I continue now?" Kallian asked

_"I knew it wouldn't work, so we went down to the 'Leash keeping place' and fought a whole bunch of stuff, but finally Jowan destroyed his 'leash' I almost told him...And then when we were up again, the Templars were going to take Lily to Aeonar, and reward me...When Jowan stabbed his hand yelling "Don't you touch her!" and used blood magic, and without looking toward me..his best friend, sister almost, he told Lily to run away, Lily cut him with his words and he sprinted off..._

_"_Only to see him again in Redcliffe brought back all those memories..and the Guardian...Well now you know, that's how I was conscripted..." A silence rang around the campfire as Kallian downed the last of the wine and stretched, "I'm going to bed night guys!, Jo come!" the lithe elf called to her mabari, and without a glance backwards, retired for the night,

Alistair whistled, "I did not see that coming!" Leliana looked at Alistair, "Don't you see? Kali still loves Jowan." at that Alistair began to stutter "What! No-no she said they were best friends not lovers!" Zevran smirked mischievously "And is our Templar friend developing feelings for our dear Mage Warden?" Alistair's ears reddened, "W-What! N-No, we-we're just go-good friends!" Leliana swooned, "Two star crossed lovers forever imprisoned by their broken hearts!" Alistair rubbed his eyes, "You have had too much wine." he muttered snagging the wine and draining it empty, "Alright come on Zevran, go back to your tent."

Alistair tried to get the giggling drunk elf up from the ground yet Zevran was not done "Ohhhohoho Gonna go get some more Mage, is she going sheath your sword with her body, use her magic to make your-" Alistair dropped Zevran blushing a red so hard it would kill Roses, "NO its not like that!...Leli could please get him in his tent?" Leliana waved her hand "Of course Alistair..good night!"

Alistair rubbed his forehead, "Oh maker, why on earth did we keep the assassin?" Alistair quickly fell asleep only to roll over and hear Zevran murmur, "Would you like to see my dagger?" right next to him, **"AHHHHHHHHHH!" **was heard for miles and some say Duncan and Calian were rolling in their graves laughing, Zevran shot up like a bullet, his daggers out and ready only then did he look at Alistair and pale, "No, tell me we did not!" Alistair however stormed out of the tent and glared at Leliana.

"NOT FUNNY!" he growled, Kallian, Morrigan, and Leliana were rolling on the party camp ground laughing so hard they were crying, "DID YOU SEE YOURSELF?" they later joked about it on the road still laughing, and Alistair could be heard distinctly cursing under his breath, "Maker help us all!"

That was the funniest way to end it, and I wanted to end it on a good note! So reviews comments, Flames, Anything is welcome tata for now and like Zevran said "Do you want to see my dagger?"


End file.
